I have been most fortunate to
have had several Music Therapy sessions with
Dr Chandrakant Sardeshmukh and the experience has taken
me on a journey of self discovery, a journey that I would
not have missed for anything.
Like many people my age, I was
dealing with some hurdles that life puts in our way for
a good reason I'm sure. These things (ideally) shock us
into taking some positive action and encourage us to take
the necessary steps to changing our lives for the better.
However I felt that I was stuck
and I just did not know how to extricate myself from the
mess that I had to admit was of my own making.
I look back on my first session
with amazement and a good deal of humour as I remember what
trouble I had relaxing my body and trying to stop the incessant
chatter of my overactive mind. I can remember thinking that
the session would soon be over and the only thing that I
had to show for it was a bundle of pathetic thoughts that
seemed to stop me from feeling whatever it was that I was
supposed to feel. Suddenly I began to feel waves of energy
washing up and down my body and I had a distinct feeling
that I was being divided in half-length ways. Dr. Chandrakant
had done the impossible and managed to find a way to distract
me so that the work could begin. I felt both sides of my
body move in the opposite direction ever so slightly, and
I think that this was an experience of mind - body realignment
that has been the foundation on which further progress has
been made.
I know now that I was very resistant
to the music and my body language even showed this as I
sometimes turned away when memories or thoughts, which disturbed
me, surfaced during a session. It has been invaluable talking
to
Dr. Chandrakant and Juliette after each music therapy, and
from this I have gained many insights into my experience.
These exchanges have often been accompanied by bouts of
laughter and sometimes with tears of joy or pain. However
I have always felt very supported and have been given every
opportunity to express my feelings and to unravel some of
the confusion which has surfaced on occasions. I have also
been given advice on diet and making some changes in this
area seems to have enhanced the beneficial effects of music
therapy.
Following the second session,
I began to notice that I had more energy to cope with my
increased workload and that my confidence had lifted considerably.
I am now more focused and feel motivated to expand my own
boundaries and attempt things that I never would have imagined
doing before.
During subsequent sessions I
began to fall in love with the music, sometimes my body
would feel as if it was swaying or being rocked by the music.
I have imagined that I was moving towards the sitar and
that I was the sitar that
Dr. Chandrakant was playing. Sometimes I have just listened
to the music and disregarded my body. I have been delighted
by the sweetness of the music and thrilled to such an extent
that I have felt like dancing. Of course there have also
been moments when I have not liked what I have felt and
it has taken some time to accept these realisations.
More recently I have felt an
even deeper passion for my work. I have surprised myself
with the emergence of a creative streak that I did not know
I had. My attitude to many things has changed. My emotional
nature has settled and I am more detached but also more
alert in various situations. I have moments of feeling love,
joy and happiness and feel such gratitude to Dr. Chandrakant
and Juliette for their guidance on my journey.
My first Music Therapy was in
November, 1998 and I can hardly recognise the person I was
two years ago. I would certainly like to have more music
therapy sessions because I am very committed to this therapy
as a means to increase my well being. However whether I
do or not, I feel that the seeds have well and truly been
sown and that I will continue to move forward.
