Music Therapy Experience in Japan
Pumpkin got tired.
by Taeko Nakamura. April, 2002
I had been taking Music Therapy by Dr. Chandrakant for 9 months. It might be 17 or 18 times totally. As the time goes by, I had various experiences. Last time I experienced amazing things. I had a feeling that left part of my chest was lifted up, and a feeling that my head skin was waving within the depth of 1cm. And all of my cells were reacted according to the Sitar sound.
My friend said that I always had painful face expressions during Music Therapy. Dr. Chandrakant told me that it was because of compressed sadness and pains inside of myself and that they were releasing through these face reactions. Since childhood, I have something to reject, as I don't want to accept. "If you could release Hate inside, you can be changed more." he added. "How can I release compressed feeling in me?", I asked. He smiled and answered, "That's why Sitar is here."
I have been living with ear troubles since I was born. The handicap of deaf brought a negative attitude in me and I couldn't have self-confidence. So that I was not good at communicating with others.
4 years ago when I first met Tamo san, I joined her workshop and I tried to hear my heart beat through a stethoscope. But I couldn't hear my heart beat, nor the breaths of trees. At that time Tamo san told me silently, "You will be all right. You can hear. It was because you didn't want to hear so far, didn't you? Please love yourself and be kind to yourself." Tears overflowed after the Tamo san's words.
It was likely that I had been rejecting my mother's words since I was in her uterus. I think my mother used to use negative words, because she was too much suffering and having much worries. And also she had a very hard years during world war II and before & after the war as her background. As my mother wished to cure her deaf daughter, she had taken me to the big university hospital, sometimes rushed to some religion, and she brought me up with lots of worries. And thus, I could be here with this happiness.
Now my father is 88 years old and my mother is 83 years old. Their bodies become smaller. They live together independently, wishing not to bother their children, with their legs not to move smoothly. I feel that they look beautiful and graceful.
Last December, there was a good change in me. I found that I could hear better. I could hear the clock sound clearly, and I could hear TV sound in small volume. Now I can hear well. I felt like I was surrounded by Sitar music, cured and melted by Sitar sound. I found that I was not a deaf, but I had closed my ears because I didn't want to hear. Now I finally understood that all the causes were created in me. Dr. Chandrakant knows everything. I asked, "How do you know?" "It is Heart Language.", he answered. It seems that the heart communicates with the heart. One time when I took therapy hiding some trouble inside, he said that I was angry and horned, to my surprise. He understood my horns hiding behind. So we laughed a lot. And another time, I saw a broken Sitar, made from pumpkin, in the paper box. It was broken during transportation. Dr. Chandrakant said with his eyes moving circularly, "Pumpkin got tired."
I wonder how many persons are cured and become happy with this pumpkin.
I would like to introduce this wonderful Music Therapy. And I will go to see him and take therapy continuously. I thank God for giving me this wonderful encounter.